Getting my edu-ma-cation

Keegan in front of the French Embassy.

As I mentioned in a previous post, the SD offers many classes to help with the transition into the Foreign Service.  Everything from communication to protocol, as well as family issues and security concerns.  I signed up for any classes I thought sounded relevant and helpful. Most classes are only a day or two and are spread out throughout our time here in DC.  Well, last week I finally got to start taking a couple.  I took Realities of Foreign Service Life and Communicating across Cultures.  I learned so much and thought it would be great to write about some of the highlights of what I learned. 


Communicating Across Cultures

What a fun class!  To really understand another culture, I have to understand my own.  Now this class was applied to national cultural differences, but every person is part of different cultures and I think these lessons can be applied to everyone.  Religious and community cultures define us, as well. As a Mormon, I know we have our own culture, separate from our beliefs.  Just ask anyone that lives in Utah! :D

Our teacher started off by asking us to think about what defines our American culture.  To be honest I never really thought about what "American Culture" is, especially in terms of how I think about other cultures.  What defines us as truly American?  He said most Americans don't travel outside of their culture and therefore it can be difficult for them examine it.  According to the statistics, only 18% of Americans own a passport and of that 18% a disproportionate amount are over 65 or are young children that travel with foreign born parents.  He said that I will learn the most about my own culture when I'm not living in it.  Living in a new place forces people to examine what identifies them, because they are constantly comparing it to the new culture. 

My favorite:  Don't put a value judgment on differences. 

The values and beliefs of any culture are the one's that are historically rewarded.  If I want to learn about another culture, I need to start with their history.

Here's just a couple of things he had us think about:

American Culture
I didn't realize what an optimistic society we are, especially in comparison to other parts of the world.  Most of us believe that if we are good, we will be rewarded, whether by God, Karma or some other force.  Culturally, we believe in extreme individualism and a distrust of strong centralized government.  While being individual, we are also very patriotic and have a strong civic culture and that is one of the reasons that during emergencies our communities come together and when the emergency has passed we go back to our lives again.  We are a nation of doers and put a strong emphasis on action.  Therefore, poets, artists and thinkers rarely hold as much value in American culture.

Here's a link to a great paper discussing the communication challenges between Dept of Defense and the Dept of State



Realities of Foreign Life

My favorite part was discovering the "Cycle of Adapatation"  Mostly it describes the adjustment a person makes when they move to a new country, but I saw parallels with any move or huge life change (job change, divorce, death, retirement, etc)

1.  Honeymoon Period:  Everything is fascinating and new.  Usually starts before the move and can last for the first couple of months. 

2. Culture Shock: You are swamped with loads of new problems.  It can be mentally exhausting dealing with transportation, housing, food, new friends and all in a new language.

3. Initial Adjustment and Mental Isolation: As you start to overcome some of the bigger issues and the language begins to become easier, depression may set in.  Feelings of loneliness and missing your old life may take over and, for some, they never leave this stage.  This is the lowest point of the cycle as you learn to adjust and communicate.

4. Acceptance and Integration: You have established a routine and have accepted the new culture.  You are comfortable with your social group and the language. 


Most surprisingly was learning about Return Anxiety.  Return anxiety, or Re-entry Shock, is what happens when you go home, especially the first time.  It can often be more painful and difficult than Culture Shock, simply because you aren't expecting it.  I mean who would think that coming back to family and old friends might be hard?  I remember experiencing it when I left for college and later on when we moved out of state.  The first time I came home, part of me felt like a stranger in my little town.  They had changed and so had I.  I think time makes those changes more pronounced, because you just don't see each other every day like you used to.  With every move, I keep expecting that shock to lessen, but it doesn't.  The time spent in the different stages varies, but I still see it.

I think my biggest surprise in this class was realizing how applicable some of these lessons were to everyone, not just Foreign Service families.  Especially to my military spouse friends.  I wish I had this information 12 years ago as we entered the military, but especially through all our moves.  I can look back and see this cycle in every one of our 19 moves.  I remember feeling depressed for a short time with every move and then getting mad for "feeling sorry for myself".  It was especially profound when we left Active Duty and moved to Boulder.  Making friends and creating new routines isn't always as easy as it sounds, even for us extroverts.  It just takes time.



In celebration of a couple of our favorite  cultures, we attended a huge party at the French Embassy as well as a rowdy day at Shamrock fest, enjoying our roots of Irish punk and all things green :D

Enjoy!

Rowen dancing